Confronting the Nellie

I realized one never knows where one will end up. Things can change so completely the next moment that I can only hope for a certain way for my life to turn out…

Live in the moment…live in the moment….cease the day…

Nellie put her faith in people. In man, that he would carry out his work to the fullest, that the creation would exceed the creator…

Her creation exceeded her in some ways.

What happens if one strives for the best? For what can be actually possible? Or overly impossible? Aim for the impossible?

Nellie use to say that the path leaves ever onward. So I walk onward. So many people tell me I'm stronger than I give myself credit for.

I heard that If you never do art that makes you feel uncomfortable, than you’re never really searching your potential.

Well this is making me uncomfortable. This whole process. It's wonderful and scary and stretching and soul searching. She has helped me to find myself, to not fear the future…but I'm so unsure of what the future holds…or what form it may even take.

I don't know what kind of person I would be in a world without Nellie.

These past four years have been some of the most defining years of my life, and she has been with me through all of it. She has not always been an approving role model. At times I would think, if Nellie were alive she would probably not even waste her time on me. What kind of artist am I to her if I am constantly putting down my own work? What would she say to me? I have a feeling she would give me a couple good spiritual slaps. People have described her as being terrifying. Sometimes I'm terrified of where her memory might take me. I'm afraid of confronting the Nellie Cornish...but its going to happen. I'm going to start writing in her voice sooner or later.